BergenOS

Cold Email Structure & Mechanics

6 min read

Length & Format Guidelines

  • Keep under 150 words
  • 5 sentences or fewer
  • Aim for under 75 words if possible
  • Make it mobile-friendly
  • Be brief
  • Easy to respond to

Subject Line Principles

Core Rules:

  • 2-4 words maximum
  • Make it boring and internal-looking
  • Don’t be clickbaity
  • Create curiosity without being spam-like
  • Specific and relevant to the recipient

Poor Examples:

❌ “Quick question” ❌ “Following up” ❌ “15 minutes of your time”

Why they fail: Generic, focused on you rather than them, give no reason to open

Effective Examples:

✅ “[Company name]‘s approach to [specific challenge]” ✅ “Question about [specific initiative they’re working on]” ✅ “[Mutual connection] suggested we connect” ✅ “5522 Marbella Drive” (specific and personalized) ✅ “ramp up stress” (addresses specific pain point) ✅ “Mailshake or Outreach??” (creates curiosity)

Why they work: Specific, relevant to recipient, create curiosity without being clickbait

Email Structure Components

1. Greetings

Do:

  • Use their first name
  • Keep it simple: “Hey [Name],” or “Hi [Name],”

Don’t:

  • ❌ “Hey there”
  • ❌ “To whom it may concern”
  • ❌ Overly formal greetings

2. The Hook (Opening Line)

Purpose: Establish relevance immediately

Rules:

  • Focus entirely on the recipient
  • Address specific pain points or opportunities
  • Consider opening with a thoughtful question
  • Show you did your homework

Poor Example:

“I wanted to reach out because our platform has helped dozens of companies increase sales by 30%.”

Why it fails: Generic, company-focused rather than recipient-focused

Effective Example:

“After seeing your recent launch of [specific product], I wondered if you’re facing the same [specific challenge] that similar companies in [industry] are working to overcome.”

Why it works: Shows research, focuses on their world, demonstrates relevance

3. Timing & Humanization

Answer two questions:

  1. Why are you reaching out?
  2. Why should I listen to you?

Examples:

  • “I saw you’ve been posting a lot about outbound efficiency - are you using clay…”
  • “I noticed you’re hiring for an SDR…”
  • “I saw you’re downsizing your…“

4. The Value Proposition

Rules:

  • Include specific, relevant social proof when possible
  • Keep it brief and outcome-focused
  • Connect to their specific situation

Formula: “We’ve helped companies like [similar company] implement [specific solution] to [specific result, with metrics if possible]”

Example: “In the past year we’ve worked with companies like abc and def to help them close more deals in less time without selling their soul, and we think we might be able to help xyz in this area as well.”

5. Proof Point / Credibility

Build trust without bragging. Show, don’t tell.

Better to say:

  • “Several [persona] at [peer company/industry] have used this framework”
  • “This is the same approach [notable client] used to cut X% off their annual spend”

Rather than:

  • “We’re the best in the industry”
  • “Our platform is revolutionary”

6. Call to Action (CTA)

Rules:

  • Make it low-friction and easily actionable
  • Offer clear value beyond just “getting a meeting”
  • Focus on outcomes the recipient cares about
  • Match the CTA to their awareness stage

CTA Types by Awareness Stage

Soft Ask (Solution-Aware / Most Aware)

  • “Worth a quick call to see if this could help your team, {{FirstName}}?”
  • “I’m not sure if this is a fit for you folks, but if you’d like to learn more, would you be open to carving out some time to explore?”

Value-First (Problem-Aware / Solution-Aware)

  • “Free {{Industry}} travel audit to identify cost savings and process improvements.”
  • “I can share a breakdown of how three similar companies solved this problem. Would that be useful?”

Outcome-Driven (Most Aware)

  • “Would saving {{X%}} on your travel spend help you hit your {{quarter/year}} goals?”
  • “Would 10 additional sales meetings per month help you hit your Q3 targets?”

Direct (Most Aware)

  • “Can we lock in 15 minutes on {{Day}} to discuss?”

Curiosity-Driven (Unaware / Problem-Aware)

  • “Want to see how your travel costs compare to other {{Industry}} firms your size?”
  • “I ran the numbers on {{CompanyName}}‘s recent travel patterns, want the report?”

Social-Proof-Driven (Solution-Aware / Most Aware)

  • “Several {{PersonaPlural}} at {{PeerCompany/Industry}} have used this framework, want the breakdown?”
  • “This is the same approach {{NotableClient}} used to cut {{X%}} off their annual travel spend, want me to share it?”

Scarcity-Driven (Most Aware)

  • “We’re running {{X}} free travel audits this month, want one?”
  • “We can review your {{Quarter}} travel spend before budgets lock next week, interested?”
  • “Only {{X}} slots left for our complimentary cost analysis this month, want to reserve one?”

Insight-Driven (Problem-Aware / Solution-Aware)

  • “We’ve spotted {{X}} areas where most {{Industry}} firms overspend by {{Y%}}, want me to point them out for you?”
  • “Noticed {{CompanyName}} may be missing {{X}} quick wins on travel savings, want details?”

No-Obligation / Low Commitment (Solution-Aware)

  • “Happy to send a 1-page summary you can review in 2 minutes, should I send it over?”
  • “If I share {{X}} actionable recommendations for reducing travel costs, would you take a look?”
  • “If you’d like, I can send you a 2 minute demo so you can evaluate.”

Event/Trigger-Based (Problem-Aware / Solution-Aware)

  • “Saw {{CompanyName}} is expanding into {{Region}}, want to make sure your travel process scales cost-effectively?”
  • “Congrats on {{RecentNews/Event}}, should we explore ways to manage the travel impact?”

Challenge-Driven (Problem-Aware)

  • “Do you know exactly where {{X%}} of your travel budget goes? Most firms don’t, want to find out?”

Poor CTA Example:

“Do you have time for a quick call this week to discuss how we can help?” “Would it be worth 15m of your time”

Why it fails: Generic, asks for time without offering clear value

Effective CTA Example:

“If addressing [specific challenge] is a priority, I’d be happy to share our 2-page guide on how [similar company] increased [specific metric] by 27%. Would that be helpful?”

Why it works: Offers immediate value, low commitment, clear next step

The PS Line

Purpose: Add additional personalization to show research

Format:

PS - {Personalized Line}

Examples:

  • “PS - saw your LinkedIn post about hiring for CS, how’s the search going?”
  • “PS - I really enjoyed your recent post on building trust through authenticity”
  • “PS - Your video on sales anxiety was spot on. Enjoyed your two cents on detaching from the outcome”

Why it works: The PS gets read first by many people, so it’s prime real estate for showing you’ve done your homework.

Formatting Best Practices

  1. No links - They trigger spam filters
  2. Short paragraphs - 1-2 sentences max
  3. White space - Make it scannable
  4. Mobile-first - Most people read on phones
  5. Clear signature - Keep it simple

What NOT to Include

❌ Multiple asks in one email ❌ Attachments (spam filters) ❌ Links (spam filters) ❌ Long explanations ❌ Feature dumps ❌ Multiple sentences per paragraph ❌ Complex formatting ❌ Images (can trigger spam filters) ❌ Too many exclamation points!!!

The Complete Structure Template

Subject: [2-4 boring words that create curiosity]

Hey [FirstName],

[Hook: Relevance + Timing + Why reaching out]

[Value Prop: How you've helped similar companies]

[CTA: Low-friction, awareness-appropriate]

[Signature]

PS - [Personalized research-based line]

Quick Checklist Before Sending

  • Under 150 words?
  • 5 sentences or fewer?
  • Subject line 2-4 words?
  • Mobile-friendly?
  • No links?
  • Specific to this recipient?
  • Clear CTA?
  • Personalized PS line?
  • Focuses on them, not you?
  • Easy to respond to?

Origin: Synthesized from Cold Email Best Practice vault Tags: Sales ColdEmail Structure Mechanics CTA Created: 2025-10-17

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